No More Sorrow

In order to get the connection between the title of the post and the post itself you really have to listen to the song. Its by Linkin Park and it is really good.

In the last post I said I was going to take a look at some of my beliefs and in doing so I found out something that is kinda shocking or at least it was to me. I am a liberal. For anyone who knows me this is a very major thing as even after I came out I still clung to the label of conservative. I found this out by looking at most of my beliefs and they are pretty liberal and I am not talking about the Oklahoma faux liberal. I am talking about rainbow flag waiving hippy liberal. For instance, health care, I personally believe in a single payer system (in other words I believe the government should provide health care, not private industry). Does this mean that I like our current president? NO!!!!!! I think he is a smooth talking con artist who is falling back on his promises. In the one issue that made me think I was a conservative, I have come to the realization that that opinion is actually quite a liberal one once I actually sat down and thought about what I actually believe.

Off the politics for a moment, I have also come to the realization that I am in the wrong major, like I hate my major and if this wasn't my fifth year in college I would change it. I should probably be in English Literature, Cultural Studies, or some sort of non-specialized minority history as most of my history classes have focused on minority groups. This being said I am so glad that I am not taking a Communication class this semester as I have begun to find these classes rather dull.

Speech and Debate started back up again and I was given a little taste of the drama when a friend called to inform me the drama that was going on with the team and you know what? I am so glad to be off the team cause from the outside the drama seems so meaningless and petty.

Well nothing else is really new here maybe in the next blog I will tackle my thoughts on religion or something else of such magnitude but for now I get to go read Kant and Locke for Enlightenment Lit tomorrow.

Her Diamonds and SheWolf

I have decided that I will name my blogs after songs that I enjoy.

So the last three days has been absolutely insane. I have been forced to learn that you can not help people that do not want to help themselves and that the pace that some people are on does not always match the pace that we believe they should be setting for themselves.

I wish that the people in my life, particularly two women who I really care for, would understand the messages behind the two songs that are in my title. One needs to realize that being emotionally damaged is ok and you can move on from there and the other needs to realize that she is a strong woman who can do anything she puts her mind to.

As for me, I am having a hard time staying away from the team at OU. I want to know what is going on with them because I have come to realize that I have no drama without them and I really don't know how to function without a high level of drama in my life. This is a major problem I understand that but I am not sure how to move on.

I have also been thinking about how we never think about what we believe politically, spiritually, and morally. So, for the next couple of post I am going to be looking at what I believe and why I believe it. I believe this is something that needs to be done in order for me to grow as an individual.

Here is to some productive posting later in the week lol.

Reason for this blog

The reason I am writing this blog is because I am nowhere near where I expected to be in my life and I am going to attempt to view this in a positive light. I will probably be using this blog for self-reflection and all that type of emo stuff that high schoolers do. Along the way I will also probably comment on movies, music, or anything else that strikes my fancy.

I have had to alter my expectations severely this year.

Academically- I expected to be a master's student at some college as a coach of speech and debate and have an excellent GPA and all that. Instead I find myself with a horrid GPA in a degree program that I can't stand in my 5th year as an undergrad. This probably isn't a bad thing though as I have come to the conclusion that I really don't want to do speech and debate coaching.

Relationship- I am actually surprised that my relationship with my boyfriend, Tracy, is going as well as it has been going. We have gotten over a rough patch and things are looking up. So instead of having to deal with the death of a relationship I am actually enjoying a new sense of happiness in my relationship with him.

Socially- One of my social circles has imploded because I have decided to take a hiatus from speech and debate. My other social circle has suffered the lose of a really great person because she just had to move to North Carolina, however, I am really excited for Chase/Bite to get geared back up. I am also going to make an attempt to become more active on campus. Again, speech and debate caused me to not be active because of the time that it took to be a some-what successful participant in it.

Physically-Ok, so I am going to steal a page from Meghan and Wendi and talk about weight and food on here. By the way, congrats Meg on your successful summer. You looked absolutely amazing when I saw you last. With the weight thing, I weigh 245 lbs and am so not happy with that. So I am going to use this blog at times to talk and work my way through that.

So I enter this blog with a life that has been filled with expectations that have not been met and I am going to view this as a positive and use this year as an opportunity to fix things that need to be fixing and to grow.